happy, sad, broke = mixed feeling

I still can’t believe that I’m actually did that. I don’t even recall why on earth did I want to buy that from the first place. When there is something I wish to have or want it quite badly at that very moment, I will do whatever it takes to make it possible. And as usual, I never actually see the after-math after my impulse decision. Still, I am happy and glad that I’ve made the decision. And thanks to two little evil (I regard them as evil cos they sort of influence my judgment during the short phone call). Two little devil are actually kind devil whom kind enough to tell me regarding the special promo at their place for I have inform them my intention to get a new “baby” for myself. Will I regret? Better not at all. I am still waiting for the moment when I can finally see and touch my “baby” for the first them. Awaiting for little devil1 to come back.

I got myself into another huge debt due to my impulse buying of a camera that I have been restraint myself not to buy until I clear my old debt but I just can’t resist. The desire was too great that it overcome the temptation. I bought a Panasonic Lumix GF1. So, I shall have lots of nice picture from this moment on. lol.

I am officially RM3568.95 poorer. I need to re-pay little devil2 each month as he swipe the card on my behalf. lol. Feels bad cos don’t like the feeling of owing someone. But that’s what you ought to do when you are greedy and yet broke. lol. Even my situation is kind of bad, I am actually very excited and happy. More like I always feel delighted for no apparent reason. It’s the kind of feeling where you finally found out that you’re in love. lol. And DD started to scold me for my impulse decision to buy. He even warned me not ignored him after I get my baby. lol. Someone so jealous ooo. He predicts I will spend my free time playing with baby rather than to entertain him. My oh my.

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Last Friday, my mom called my sister and asked us to go back to Raub. I supposed to join the hot air balloon workshop on Saturday morning but then the organized postponed it due to bad weather. Shit. Need to postpone again. Ruin my mood only. Anyway, since I thought that I would attend the workshop, I told my sis to inform my mom that we will only be back on Saturday. But, in the end, we did went back cos we already plan to go back the week after that, to celebrate Father’s day. So, my siblings force me to call back and explain to my mom. And I got scolded because of that. So damn unfair. Why the heck am I being scolded? Just because I broke the bad news to her. It seems that the reason she want us to back because my grandma has been complaining about her leg pain and started to saying those stupid thing that she is going to die sooner or whatever damn shit. Don’t scold me for being mean but then my grandma has been behaving like a kid ever since my grandpa pass away. She must been very lonely when my parents went to work and start to get everyone attention by saying she gonna leave the world soon. Damn frustrating you know. Imagine, when you reach home and wanted a piece of mind. I don’t mind the small talk we had. Basically she just asks the same question over and over again and I just answer patiently. The problem is, my grandma only understands Hakka and my Hakka vocab is very limited. Whenever I came across question that I don’t even know how to answer, I’ll choose to keep quiet. And then she will start her tantrum. It pissed me off sometimes, ok, most of the time. So, usually, I will just ask my brother to entertain her, as I’m not really good at handling this kind of stuff. I just don’t understand, we are not the only grandchildren she had. I have lots of cousin sister and brother whom are still young and schooling at Raub. Why can’t my mom contact them to accompany my grandma sometimes? They’re just staying in the same neighborhood. For god sake, my mom rather called us and sort of forced us to travel so far just to be a filial granddaughter/ grandson. The other annoying things that deter me to go back to my own home are the feud between each family. My mom likes to complain and comment about my uncle’s and the family member. They have been competing with each other ever since I was born. All of us used to stay in my current house but due to argument, disagreement and dissatisfaction, one by one, each family moved out from the house. I always thought that after my uncle’s are out from the house, the gossip and everything will just end there but I was so wrong. I was still fed with anger and dissatisfaction from my mom from time to time. Sometimes, it really saddens me. I love my mom, my grandma and everyone in the family. But somehow, they are the one that hurt my feeling the most. :(

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Last Saturday, went out to have a look at the camera. Actually I don’t plan to get it but then I can’t resist not thinking bout it. So, finding all the available excuses, DD and I went out eventually. We were so lazy to go till Low Yat or Pudu Plaza (suggested by Kmeng), so we just went to Jusco Equine. As expected, we didn’t get to see the real thing cos the all the shops we went doesn’t sell that model. Instead, we went to Jusco supermarket to buy groceries. Unsatisfied, I drag DD to go to Puchong to see if I can have any chance to see it. Went to lelong.com shop but it was closed that time. A bit disappointed, I reluctantly went back. It was pretty hot out there and I have no mood to find any shop around that area anymore. My dreams of having it come true when two little devils called when I was reach home and watching my TVB series, “Mysteries of Love”. Btw, the TVB drama that I’m watching at that time damn nice. Have some resemblance to CSI. Best of all, Raymond Lam acting. Not sure how to judge his acting skill. Even if it’s bad, he’s handsome. So, everything else doesn’t matter. lol.