It was the first time I take part in a Chinese wedding. It is a true story based on what I observed and know about the ceremony. I would like to express my gratitude to Takaru for giving me the opportunity to see the overall picture of the whole thing and learn about behind the scene for this memorable event of his life.
The night before the wedding, a bunch of friends gather at the groom’s house (obviously, it’s Takaru) to have buffet supper. While we are in the midst of discussing the event for the next day, Takaru’s mom requests him to shower and wore new pajamas. (I’m not sure why he needs to do that but my deduction is to indicate the beginning of a new life. Something like the reason why people wore new clothes on eve’s of Chinese New Year.) After shower, Takaru appear wearing his new pajamas (not silky type as what I know of but just a normal jumpsuit). When we questioned him regarding his attire, he told us, “Now 21st century la, wore anything comfortable will do”. At that instant, Shoni was making mental note that if she was to be married to Ping, she will “negotiate” with him to wear matching attire. As for as we remember or watch in TVB drama, there is this short ceremony where the groom and the bride have their hair combed (to symbolize blessing and happy life). But not in Takaru’s case. Their family decided to skip this tradition. It seems like, if you conduct this hair combing ceremony, your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and the rest of the family hierarchy need to perform this act on the eve of their wedding. Apparently, Takaru’s parent did not do it. That explains everything.
Opps, I think I forgot to mention what is my role in his wedding ceremony. I am just a kepohci (busybody). Shoni as the amateur-wanna-be videographer. Yitpong and Jean as the photographers. Chong, Yaumee, Tui, Nicky and Pei will be the groomsman, a.k.a Heng Dai. Heng Dai’s responsibility is to assist the groom to “bring” the bride back. This includes, being torture by the bridesmaid, a.k.a Ji Mui.
At 8am the next morning, all of us return to groom’s house to follow the groom to the bride’s house, at Bentong from Raub. If without any major obstacles, the journey only took half an hour. Auspicious time to leave the house is at 9am. We had nasi lemak and kuih for breakfast. The groom’s mom will help his son to put on his coat and secured a decorative flower at his coat. (Not sure why need the flower. Probably is to let others know that he is the groom. I know. Lame guess). Groom then put on his best/new shoe as observed by everyone. Groom burnt joystick to God and ancestor. Before leaving the house, groom will get blessing from his parents. He needs to chant some Hakka (he is Hakka) phrase as taught by the spokewomen a.k.a Tai Kam Jie (TKJ). TKJ’s job is to brief and teach respective people regarding all the actual ritual during the wedding ceremony. Usually is a she. She is capable to talk non-stop with her high pitch voice and annoys you very much by reminding you over and over and over again to bring that bloody “things” even though you have told her that you will do it over and over and over again. (Things are those equipment and foods to be used for praying purposes.) I’ve tried my best to avoid the TKJ but she sure can spot me from far far away and demand me to “help” her. Well, it’s not that I don’t like to help, but I just can’t stand the nagging. “Where are my things” she demanded. “It’s with the boys. They are parking the car and on his way”, I told her. “Where are my things,” she demanded again. “With the BOYS. ON THE WAY”, I told her again. “Where are my things? I can start without them”, there she go again. Resisting myself to scold bad words, I manage to get Shoni’s attention and divert TKJ question to Shoni. She asked Shoni the same thing all over again, until the boys arrived.
Anyway, we reach the bride’s house a little bit later than as schedule and greeted by a bunch of people. I couldn’t distinguish which one is the Ji Muis from the normal patrons or whoever it should be as the bride’s house is actually a shop house. The bribery begins at the moment we reach the bride’s house. Groom can’t open his own car door. Usually need to be done by the bride’s youngest brother. If she doesn’t have any younger brothers, it would be the youngest cousins that carry the same surname. In this case, it is the bride’s brother whom opened the door; in return he gets a “fat” Ang Pow. (fat in the sense a lot of money. If he is not satisfied with the ‘reward’, he can always refuse to open the door until he have ‘enough’ of ‘reward’. I called this Bribe Case 1).
Then the paying respect to Ancestor and Tea Ceremony begins. It was a long process. Apparently, the Bride has lots of relatives. The bride and groom serve tea to the bride's elder relatives, and in return receive Ang Pow. The couple offers Ang Pow to the younger children in the family too. My eyes are watery while observing the ceremony. I’m jealous. I can’t stand it anymore. LOL. Of course not. It’s the smoky room and hall. It’s killing my eyes. I didn’t manage to wait till the whole ceremony ends and slip to downstairs to let my sooth my aching eyes. It was a bad idea after all as don’t know anyone there. Reluctantly, I climb up again and wait until the end of tea ceremony. After tea ceremony, it’s time to go back to the Groom’s house. Before doing so, the couple need to circle the car a few times, where the elder brother of the Bride hold a pink umbrella to shield his sister. (It’s a short cut thing. Usually on the 3rd day of the wedding, according to the tradition, the couple needs to return to the Bride’s home. But due to busy schedule and its 21st century for God sake, it is not feasible.) Wow! Marriage also got short cut de!! Impressive.
Before being able to step his feet on the bride’s house, grooms and Heng Dais need to pass the “test” prepared by the cute and lovely Ji Muis. Due to time constraint, as what they mention, grooms and Heng Dais are made to wear party cap and disposable panties with words scribble on it. Based on the words, they need to form a sentence, position in a straight line by facing the main road of Bentong. I guess, to some of them, its kind of sia suey. Everyone had a good laugh including me. That’s the main reason for me to be there. The sentence is, “I LOVE HUEY CHIN 4EVER”. That’s the name of the bride. Grooms give Ji Muis Ang pow (Bribe Case 2) as reward for preparing the “games” for them. Grooms and Heng Dais proceed to enter the house. TKJ remind the groom to use his right leg first before step into the house. (There is a reason for it. Some good thing. I forgot if I remember correctly. Please correct me if I’m wrong.). Bride is inside one of the room’s upstairs. It’s time for Groom and Heng Dais to take the second challenge. Blow balloons until it explodes; collect the papers inside the balloons to make a sentence. Head of Ji Mui request the Groom to read aloud the sentence made. He has to choose between, I LOVE HUEY CHIN 4EVER or I LOVE $ 4VER. It’s very obvious what the Groom will choose. Why use the same sentence? (If I were the Ji Muis, I will make the Groom to read aloud, “I ‘M WILLING TO BE YOUR SLAVE 4EVER”. That’s how it should be!). The 3rd challenge, to locate which room the bride resides in. The Groom somehow manage to locate the correct room. But before he can see his bride, he need to perform Bribe 3, total cost is 888. No RM. Chong has his rupiah ready. But the Groom already give all his AngPow to the head of Ji Mui. Head of Ji Mui calculate the amount they received. Satisfied, she summons her last request. Groom need to sing a song to the Bride. Groom sang Jay Chow song. Sorry. Forgot what’s the name of the song. Someone shout we should clap our hand. I did so but before I could do the second clap, Groom stopped singing. He forgot the lyric. Finally, the door where the Bride located opened up. The Groom can see his beautiful wife. Bride beaming happily. Groom also beaming happily. But Groom need to complete challenge no. 4, i.e. says I LOVE YOU in 10 different languages. Groom start with English, Mandarin, Cantonise, Hakka, Hokkien, Itallian, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, and got stuck. Shoni teach him the Tamil version. (Very special in the sense that just use tamil slang to pronounce I LOVE YOU). Btw, Mandarin, Cantonise, Hakka and Hokkien are Chinese dialet. It’s not language. Lol. Finally, Groom was allowed to go into the room. Groom put a ring on Bride’s fourth finger; Bride put a ring on Groom’s fourth finger. Voila. Done. Not yet. How can it be so easy without a long French kiss? Ok. No French kiss. Just a long peck on the lips for photography purposes. Groom need to help Bride to put on her shoes. But there was just one shoe. Another one missing? Hell no. The bff of Bride hide it. To redeem the other missing shoe, Bribe no 4 happens. Groom already gave all his Ang Pow away during Bribe 3. Fret not. There is always additional for rainy days. (Groom’s brother, the ring bearer and the Ang Pow’s guardian.)
After the family photo and “everything”, we are ready to go back to groom’s house, with the bride of course, bringing gifts of a red basin (where you bath the baby), red potty and some unidentified items (I don’t quite remember the details of the unidentified items). I have no idea what is “everything” going on as I’m too tired and stinking. It was damn hot that day.
Upon reaching the Groom’s house, the paying respect to Ancestor and Tea Ceremony took place again. Incident that caught my attention, Groom’s elder sister was weeping during the tea ceremony. She must be very proud of the brother. Such a lovely sister he had. After all the traditional ceremony, it’s time to take photo with the newlywed couple. Being the artistic and particular photographer, Yitpong suggest we circle the couple to make an oval shape. The result is pretty nice. Nice shot Yitpong and Jean. Must credit to Jean because she holds the camera and take the shot. Lol. Anyway, gossip of the day: Yaumee took a juicy photo of Shoni holding Nicky’s hand. Biggest scandal of the year they said.
Then everyone retires until the wedding dinner. The wedding banquet held at Ah Fatt Restaurant. The first dish to be served was the yam with meats and seafood. We have chicken, fish, duck, prawns, shark fin soup, seafood pot, glutinous rice and “tong sui”.
Partway though the dinner, the couple will be called upon to the stage by the emcee. They will fill up the nicely arranged wine glasses with Champagne before cutting the wedding cake. Later on, family members will join the couple to make a toast to all of us. The dinner will not be complete until the couple did the table-to-table toast. People at the table have to shout out Yum for as long as their breath will hold, and ending with Sing. The louder the better. So, each table will try to outwit the previous table. It was kind of funny. Our not-so-drunk-Chong was so excited and helps to shout Yum Sing at each table.
After the last course being served, everyone start to make their way back. The newly wed couple and the parents will stand in a line at the door and thank the entire guest.
The Groom and the Bride.
CONGRATULATION!!
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